Buried Alive

Buried Alive….that is pretty much how I feel right now. 

This weekend was amazing a great family get together with food, fireworks and a great bonfire. It as a success. People had a good time and my food all went to plan. 

But I spent two days cooking. Lots of time preparing and I haven’t managed to catch my breath.

With that and lots of people needing lots from me and at every turn feeling like I am not good enough or doing a good job it is taking it’s toll. 

Everywhere I turn I am charging too much and being made to feel worthless. Trying my hardest to understand what someone means only to feel like I’m a frustrating when all I am trying to do is help. 

Don’t get me wrong I have clients I love working with. Those who share something of themselves with me. Those who are grateful when I go the extra mile. But still it comes back to people wanting it done for a cheap as can be making me feel like my knowledge and skill is worthless. 

None of this is helped by the fact that I have become rubbish at remembering to take my anti depressants making my mood and overall wellbeing all over the place and the fact that it is November and I don’t get to see my husband hardly at all! 

I am tired. I am lonely and I am feeling sorry for myself. All of which hinder any hope of weight loss or regaining control over my life!

I just can’t breath. But I WILL keep fighting!!

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