If you have nothing nice to say….

There are very few things in life that can really make my blood boil and cause me to rant but this is one.

The other night I was just flicking through Instagram before I slept, not a good idea really what with that whole, you shouldn’t look at screens before sleep. Anyway, I came across a post from someone who, over the last few years I have grown a huge respect for.

Giovanna Fletcher for those of you who don’t know is Wife of Tom Fletcher (member of McFly) and mother of 2, Buzz and Buddy. But beyond this she is also an amazing singer and musician, a very successful writer, YouTuber and generally an all-round very lovely person. The thing that has got to me a little recently is hearing about the negativity this person has been receiving. Any negativity like this, to anyone is a hugely disappointing aspect of humanity and I think it is a cowardly nasty thing to do.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything!

It’s horrible to think there are people of think it is okay to share rude and harsh thoughts about others who they only ever see a glimpse of though social media or YouTube videos. It amazes me to think that a small insight into people gives people this idea they have an authority to judge and be nasty. Why can’t people see the best in people and comment on that, build people up instead of this childish act of picking out fault, negativity just to drag people down.

This is the post and comment that caught my eye and really upset me;

screenshot_20161209-110524

So you can see a screenshot of 4 comments made on a YouTube video (I think) that pull at different aspects of Gi and pull them apart.

First, the real low blow of going for her kids. I am sorry but who would ever think to say something like this. She is a human being and a parent, and every single parent has the right to struggle, regardless of whether you feel they have it ‘easy’ because of their life or financial situation. Surely every parent has had days where one kid is teething and the other is poorly and you are on your own trying to deal with both crying children having had a couple of hours of sleep and haven’t had the time to shower for the last two days.

Seriously!!

‘this women’s poor me attitude, it’s so negative’

This line really gets me, she is being honest, showing not just the good but also the bad times, there are great parts of having children but there are always going to be very hard points to it as well. Ask your own parents if you are too narrow minded to see this! A real-life view on what it’s like to have kids is better than one that glosses over the lack of sleep, the tantrums, the running around, the having no time for yourself. Just deal with the fact that people are entitled to struggle, regardless of whether or not you feel that you could handle it, we are all our own people and handle situations in our own way.

The second comment, so infuriating. Look beyond the end of your nose. How many couples where they have married just because they are famous have survived? Did you know that Tom and Gi have known each other for years? That they were at theatre school together? That they were together before McFly became famous? Or that the song that really pushed McFly into fame was a song that Tom wrote for Gi? For a couple that have been together a very long time, married a few years and have 2 kids, to say ‘oh well you are just there for the money’ is shameful and a horrendous attitude.

If you paid any attention you would see that Tom is often away doing gigs or touring with McFly and Gi is home on her own with the kids and she is still there, they still make each other laugh and it is heart-warming to see a tricky relationship that is strong and full of love. For those who are thinking she was just there for the money or the fame are clueless and have a very disturbing outlook on life.

The next comment about having a Ghost Writer, I don’t really have the words! If any other author who you didn’t see on YouTube or the TV wrote a good book and got it published, was a big success leading to more books in the series being written would you jump to say, they had a ghost-writer do it!

This is a passion for her, which is clear from early YouTube videos where you can see thousands of books behind her. I just think it’s a harsh thing to say to someone, what if this person loves painting and does a great picture and when it sells they get some success from it, then I come along and say, well they had someone else paint it for them, they just decided what they wanted the picture to be of. Stop pulling someone down just because they have worked hard to produce something they are proud of that has brought them some success!

And the last comment….

COME ON!!!!

There is something seriously wrong with the world when we think it is okay to make a comment about someone looks. Okay if your best friend is wearing a hideous dress that makes them look fat, go for it, they are your friend and they will appreciate it. Why has it become acceptable to judge and make comments on people we don’t know and have never met. How do you think that is going to make people feel! What is the point of saying it, does it make you feel better about yourself? Do you feel like you have a voice by being negative?

I don’t get it, I mean I was bullied horribly in school and sadly it has destroyed any sort of self-esteem I could have or confidence in myself. This is to the extent of find it hard to believe people want to be my friends as that was always a funny prank to pull on me at school. Or to believe my Husband when he says I’m beautiful because so many people have told me otherwise. It has a lasting effect on people being spoken to like this. The negativity I have received means I can pretty much talk myself out of anything I might be good at, and turn any compliment into an insult.

How Giovanna can keep her chin up and a smile on her face is an inspiration to me. Everyone goes through tough times and no two people on this planet have gone through the same struggles in the same way. We are unique and different, we are here to be ourselves which means we deal with things differently. But what gets me is why people think that sitting at a computer and being anonymous gives them the right to be nasty. Be positive and you will get positivity back. Why pull someone down when we should be working to build people up, encourage others, celebrate others success and feel happy for those around us. Strive to be a good influence and happy voice and a positive member of society. Move away from selfish ways and towards being there for others and being happy for those you like to follow through social media.

If you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything and if you don’t like the people you follow on social media or watch on YouTube then stop wasting your time and theirs. Don’t watch their videos or read their posts if all you are going to do is be rude and hurtful. We want children brought up to be respectful and nice people not Trolls.

I have no illusion that Giovanna will ever read this but if you do, be proud of the women you are and the role model you are for those who see your beauty and talent. You’re a gorgeous, warm and loving mother, wife, author and human being who deserves positivity and encouragement not hate and judgement.

Rant over. 🙂

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s